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Tuesday, November 29, 2016

jack and armadatraz part IX

Jack and Armadatraz part IX: The Kraken!

    “Hello, and welcome to part 9 of “Jack and Armadatraz” This time we face the kraken, however due to the extreme silliness of the story so far, we at the ministry of silly stories feel the need to make a serious part. Jack will be played by liam neeson and clint eastwood will play everyone else. Now for something completely different.”


Jack: “That should put you out of your misery, you unholy monster!”

Ratbeard: “I’m the batman.”

Jack: “Wrong story. You slimy rodent.”

The people who have made these choices have been sacked. We at the ministry of silly stories apologize and we now return the story to the original form. We wish you the best and hope you enjoy the rest of the story already in progress.

“And that's how I blew up the tiny flying squid.”

“So you shot a squid that wasn't the kraken with a cannon? Why in the spiral would you do that!?!”

“Because Jim, one, i’m the captain, two, it looked awesome and three, just because.”

“Your dumb!”

“Shush Jim. Try and tell us something we don't already know.”

“Hasta La Vista baby!”

“Terminus verdus! Back into your box!”

“Hiya kids! Its Doug the Dog!”


“Hi i’m jack and i’m in storytellers anonymous”


“Now back to our story about the squid!”

“And that is why I’m letting ratbeard take on the kraken by himself!”

“You just want the git to fail don't you?”

*crying* “Oh bonnie, you know me so well!”

“ARRRR! Quit yer crying captain I won't fail, i'll just blow it to bits!”

“And then Calamari!”

“We always have seafood! I want something different, my dear carolina made the best tacos…”

“Well she isn't here is she? So suck it up and eat squid!”


“Yes Gaspard?”

“The kraken is within range!”


“Captain, he’s already released…”

“I know that, I just always wanted to say it. RATBEARD REPORT!”

“ARRR here sir!”

“Good, Ratbeard, you man the main cannons. Aim for the spot between the eyes! We take out the kraken now!”


With that ratbeard went into the main heavy cannon chamber, he loaded the cannon in all six slots and aimed.


“Alright, wait for it, wait for it!”

With that the kraken seeing us, raised his lightning bolt and began to throw it at us, luckily he missed and that gave ratbeard his opening. Ratbeard fired upon the kraken, nailing him right in between his eyes.

“ARRRR we’ve taken out stormzilla and stormsharks, now we add the kraken to the list of storm school summons we’ve killed!”

“Heh, Ratbeard I fear the storm school may run out of things to summon when i’m done with the spiral!”

“You both are gits, there wall always be more creatures for them to summon.”

“True, bonnie true, but it just goes to show, a wizard is no match for a pirate, we can take on anything they throw at us, stormzilla, hydra, dragon, centaur, the undead, cyclops, and snowmen.”

“When have we ever fought a snowman?”

“We haven't, but all you would have to do is kick its head off or something. Anyways look at dragonspyre history, only once has a wizard beat a warrior in that ruined land of fighters.”

“Since when did you learn about dragonspyre history?”

“Well kobe, when you lead a empire of gold chickens, you have to learn a thing or two about war, and what better place to learn about it than dragonspyre!”


“Thank you Gaspard! Now, off to the secret hideout in valencia!”

Thank you for sticking around, we here at the ministry of silly stories suggest you share pirate101 with your friends and give all your golden chickens to Jack Nightingale, lvl 70 buccaneer often with sunglasses, a black bandana and armada gear on, mb gear on, or the gladiator gear from the aquila bundle. Why do we want you to do this? Because Spiral domination. 

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